What do you hope to accomplish from this class?
On the first day of class at Lanzhou University, I wrote the above statement on the board looking forward to learning how I can help my students.
One student answered: “I hope that we become good friends!”
My reply was: “Thank you, but I came here to China to teach. I know we can become friendly, but I came here to be your teacher, not your friend.”
As a high school teacher from the United States, this was what I learned – teachers and students cannot be friends. There must be a boundary; there must be a clear distinction made between the roles of teacher and student. I had made the mistake in the past and learned the only way to be a good teacher was to be friendly, but not their friends. I had to make sure the students knew I was there to teach and not to be their friend. It made the learning easier for both parties – student and teacher; child and adult.
The student who answered this question had a foreign teacher, another volunteer, last year. She told me later that the foreign teacher was a great friend but not that concerned with teaching. I resolved that I was going to blow their socks off from what they learned from me.
I love being a teacher. I love that I am in a position to constantly learn from my students and to guide, cajole and motivate them to be the best they can be. Through working with my students I learn how I am guided, cajoled and motivated as well to be the best teacher I can be. I love to be in a community of learners, never afraid to take risks, make mistakes and learn from each other.
I came to China because I believe in education and wanted to explore this profession in a new country, immerse myself in a new culture and to learn from a new group of learners. I brought with me my not only my resource books, my ideas for lessons and my passion to be in the classroom, but also my preconceived notions of what it means in the United States to be a teacher.
As I learned quite quickly while teaching in China, boundaries do exist, but they are very different. Living on campus with the students, something that few Chinese professors are able to do at Landa, I learned that the boundaries were cultural. Language, different life experiences, age, different world views and environmental comfort were some of the new boundaries I quickly noticed. But it was English, their zeal to learn it and my fervor to teach them, that brought my students and me together.
By relaxing my old view of boundary and becoming friends with my students, they became my teachers as well; showing me the way around campus, taking me on a climb up the mountain, introducing me to amazingly delicious foods in the various restaurants, and learning from them about their life experiences and world view.
It was overwhelming in the beginning, the dismantling of previous boundaries and constantly running my head against the new ones. But it was my relationships, my friendships with my students who held my hand as they weaved around the new walls that I became comfortable with life in Yuzhong and in China.
Now after a year, I am amazed at what we, my students and I have accomplished. I have never felt so empowered and so secure with my life in Yuzhong. The students know me, know that I care deeply about them and I know that that feeling is reciprocated. I look out for them as I weave them through the new boundaries for them as they learn English, Western Culture and Literature and they are my guides for my new walls.
Pretty soon all those boundaries are the size of the net that separate me from my weekly badminton buddy. We recognize each other and respect each other, knowing what they are learning and what they have accomplished. I know that my students are my friends. I know that teaching in China has and still is a wonderful experience that I will treasure the rest of my days. I hope to continually learn from them and deserve their friendship.
My socks are blown off by my students. Boundaries are relative and can be, when needed, dismantled.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
EARTHQUAKE!!
On Monday (5/12) afternoon around 2:30, aftershocks of one of the largest earthquakes (7.9) to hit China in over 30 years were felt here in Lanzhou (a 22 hour train ride away from the epicenter). It happened around 60 miles north of Chengdu in the Sichuan province.
I have felt little tremors in Denver before and one medium earthquakein Guatemala years ago, but this was the largest one I have ever felt. I was at home, doing Pilates and stopped to take a drink because I was feeling dizzy. Then I realized the building was moving (rather swaying) and not me.
The shocks continued for about 2 - 3 minutes. I just sat down and rode it - like a roller coaster. I should've left the building instead. Most students were in class at the time and many of them told me that some students, as they were exiting the teaching building were pushing their way out. Phones are not working. Outside of Lanzhou, texting works and the internet is up.
I had some students call me late at night, worried that it would happen again, scared to go back inside. Overwhelming what is going on down south nearer the epicenter. Peace Corps has spoken to every volunteer and everyone is all right. Grateful to be all right but scared shitless about the people trapped in rubble.
Send good thoughts.
I have felt little tremors in Denver before and one medium earthquakein Guatemala years ago, but this was the largest one I have ever felt. I was at home, doing Pilates and stopped to take a drink because I was feeling dizzy. Then I realized the building was moving (rather swaying) and not me.
The shocks continued for about 2 - 3 minutes. I just sat down and rode it - like a roller coaster. I should've left the building instead. Most students were in class at the time and many of them told me that some students, as they were exiting the teaching building were pushing their way out. Phones are not working. Outside of Lanzhou, texting works and the internet is up.
I had some students call me late at night, worried that it would happen again, scared to go back inside. Overwhelming what is going on down south nearer the epicenter. Peace Corps has spoken to every volunteer and everyone is all right. Grateful to be all right but scared shitless about the people trapped in rubble.
Send good thoughts.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Blast of Epiphanies!!
I am completely overwhelmed. Today was a napalm blast of epiphanies.
A week ago as I was walking home from class, a random student asked if he could talk to me (in English). I have been asked a few times the same request so I wasn't that surprised. As we talk he tells me his major in Chinese. Red flag!! (Heh, get it? China? Red flag?) It was a sign. PC told us to look for students who are Chinese majors to tutor us if we cannot find licensed teachers. I asked him if he would be my tutor and he accepted. Tonight was our first lesson.
I must preface this with a bit of personal disclosure - I am extremely hard on myself, especially when it comes to language learning. I forget to breathe, I beat myself up, my hands shake - the whole anxiety of it propels me to learn. My problem is that I know I am like this, but I know few people understand my process so I have even less patience with myself with new teachers. I want to be amazing at it right out of the gate. If I am not, or if they giggle or breathe a larger sigh than usual, I am even more pissed. That is exactly what happened. I was reading aloud a passage of pinyin when he began to giggle. I stopped and said, "Ok. I need some more patience from you. I know I suck, but I need you to not laugh at me."
His reaction was unexpected.
"I am not laughing at your ability. Whenever I thought that I could not learn English, my high school English teacher always said, 'Ofcourse you can! You speak very well. Look at Americans! They think they are number one, but they do not learn Chinese because it is so hard!'"
First lesson in humility learned. The rest of our time was very productive once I started to breathe again and see myself through his eyes. Silly American.
Second lesson.
I had my Junior writing class write me a mid-term reflection letter, letting me know how they are, how their other classes are, what I can do to improve as their teacher and what do they like about my class. I know many of my students put great pressure on themselves daily and I thought (again, silly American) that I could help them with stress management and teach them how to chill. All English majors take a ton of classes. My juniors take Writing, Oral English, English Literature, Advanced English, Foreign Economic Contracts, World Famous Plays, a second foreign language (French, German or Japanese) and finally Concepts of Chairman Mao...All in one semester.
Okay....Now why am I here again? I teach 18 hours to 200 students. I have 200 mid term papers waiting for me to grade and I feel impotent right now. Unable to even look at them, let alone grade them. Why am I here? Someone who has a problem with time management in a country where every minute of every day is dedicated to their studies. I took an early morning run Sunday through the campus. At 7 am. there are students standing in the middle of a field or sitting along the street reading, memorizing, reciting. When you ask students about their weekend, most of their time is spent in the library or in a quiet classroom studying. I have a sophomore Life Science major student who is very sweet to me helping me with my English, showing me books that she bought on how to improve her English vocabulary in order to do well on the GRE she plans to take TWO YEARS from now!!
Honestly, I am in waaay over my head, thinking that I can help these students. Again, life as a teacher - you learn more than your students. They will be teaching ME how to focus and use my time wisely. Compartmentalize. Suck it up and do it.
This is only the beginning of my third month teaching. I have two years of this. Waaaay over my head.
Plus! I was just asked to teach another class next semester. English Film Appreciation for English major freshmen. It would be once a week with 60 students. I told her I wanted to think about it and started to bend my sitemate's ear. We came to a brilliant compromise - we both teach it. He would take the first film and discuss it, I would take the next one, and we would work together prepping BOTH films. Our Department head liked the idea so much they increased the class size to 100.
Next semester I will be teaching 300 students. Just wanted to write it out loud. Whoa....
This is all good for me. I am awful at free time. I call it "duh time"for that is all I do - sit and drool and go cro-magnon.
So now..thanks to my kids and other random students, my schedule is much more rigid. Class time, badminton time, eating time, sleeping time, grading time, studying Chinese time.....ad nauseum.
Only 3 months!!! How will I survive two years of this? Honestly if I look at the horizon I convulse. I look at 15 min to an hour portions of the future.
How am I doing? Duh.....I have five more minutes of emailing and "freetime" before I go back to my Everest - mid term essays. Send supplies. I'm going in.....
A week ago as I was walking home from class, a random student asked if he could talk to me (in English). I have been asked a few times the same request so I wasn't that surprised. As we talk he tells me his major in Chinese. Red flag!! (Heh, get it? China? Red flag?) It was a sign. PC told us to look for students who are Chinese majors to tutor us if we cannot find licensed teachers. I asked him if he would be my tutor and he accepted. Tonight was our first lesson.
I must preface this with a bit of personal disclosure - I am extremely hard on myself, especially when it comes to language learning. I forget to breathe, I beat myself up, my hands shake - the whole anxiety of it propels me to learn. My problem is that I know I am like this, but I know few people understand my process so I have even less patience with myself with new teachers. I want to be amazing at it right out of the gate. If I am not, or if they giggle or breathe a larger sigh than usual, I am even more pissed. That is exactly what happened. I was reading aloud a passage of pinyin when he began to giggle. I stopped and said, "Ok. I need some more patience from you. I know I suck, but I need you to not laugh at me."
His reaction was unexpected.
"I am not laughing at your ability. Whenever I thought that I could not learn English, my high school English teacher always said, 'Ofcourse you can! You speak very well. Look at Americans! They think they are number one, but they do not learn Chinese because it is so hard!'"
First lesson in humility learned. The rest of our time was very productive once I started to breathe again and see myself through his eyes. Silly American.
Second lesson.
I had my Junior writing class write me a mid-term reflection letter, letting me know how they are, how their other classes are, what I can do to improve as their teacher and what do they like about my class. I know many of my students put great pressure on themselves daily and I thought (again, silly American) that I could help them with stress management and teach them how to chill. All English majors take a ton of classes. My juniors take Writing, Oral English, English Literature, Advanced English, Foreign Economic Contracts, World Famous Plays, a second foreign language (French, German or Japanese) and finally Concepts of Chairman Mao...All in one semester.
Okay....Now why am I here again? I teach 18 hours to 200 students. I have 200 mid term papers waiting for me to grade and I feel impotent right now. Unable to even look at them, let alone grade them. Why am I here? Someone who has a problem with time management in a country where every minute of every day is dedicated to their studies. I took an early morning run Sunday through the campus. At 7 am. there are students standing in the middle of a field or sitting along the street reading, memorizing, reciting. When you ask students about their weekend, most of their time is spent in the library or in a quiet classroom studying. I have a sophomore Life Science major student who is very sweet to me helping me with my English, showing me books that she bought on how to improve her English vocabulary in order to do well on the GRE she plans to take TWO YEARS from now!!
Honestly, I am in waaay over my head, thinking that I can help these students. Again, life as a teacher - you learn more than your students. They will be teaching ME how to focus and use my time wisely. Compartmentalize. Suck it up and do it.
This is only the beginning of my third month teaching. I have two years of this. Waaaay over my head.
Plus! I was just asked to teach another class next semester. English Film Appreciation for English major freshmen. It would be once a week with 60 students. I told her I wanted to think about it and started to bend my sitemate's ear. We came to a brilliant compromise - we both teach it. He would take the first film and discuss it, I would take the next one, and we would work together prepping BOTH films. Our Department head liked the idea so much they increased the class size to 100.
Next semester I will be teaching 300 students. Just wanted to write it out loud. Whoa....
This is all good for me. I am awful at free time. I call it "duh time"for that is all I do - sit and drool and go cro-magnon.
So now..thanks to my kids and other random students, my schedule is much more rigid. Class time, badminton time, eating time, sleeping time, grading time, studying Chinese time.....ad nauseum.
Only 3 months!!! How will I survive two years of this? Honestly if I look at the horizon I convulse. I look at 15 min to an hour portions of the future.
How am I doing? Duh.....I have five more minutes of emailing and "freetime" before I go back to my Everest - mid term essays. Send supplies. I'm going in.....
Friday, October 19, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Weekend trip to Xiahe
My first weekend trip was a doozy - Xiahe (sheeya huh). Four hours southwest of Lanzhou is a small town that is 50% Tibetan, 40% Han and 10% Hui and home of the Lebrang Buddhist Monastery. Currently 1,800 monks live there. The monastery is enclosed by a wall of prayer wheels and covers 3 square miles. The town is nestled in a valley almost 10,000 ft above sea level. We took a tour with a monk that spoke English.
We got to see the main meditation hall which can fit 800 at a time. The place is amazing, as you would expect, but the feelings of sublime internal silence I was not prepared for. Like Telluride, Camp Agape, the yoga retreat I did in Nederland, Varanasi, and other places that shut me up, this one did the trick. I was feeling a little agoraphobic back at my campus - thinking that China was so big and so imposing and so insurmountable. One weekend and two buses exorcised that phobia for me. It was cold as you would expect, but the thing that killed me was that we didn't get as many stares as we usually do in Lanzhou. It was liberating, not to have so many eyes on your every movement. You relaxed in your own space.
We also went across the bridge and hiked along a dirt road, past yaks and sheep grazing, past yurts with their stoves heating up dinner. It had been ages since I roamed. And that is what we did; just walked around, sat down and were just still - nothing to think about, nothing to translate, no eyes on us. The food there was amazing. Tibetan meat dumplings, steamed (momo) and fried (paale), yak milk tea, yak butter, yak burgers - all so very very good and satisfying and belly warming. We left early in the morning to grab our bus back and as the overcastsky brightened, everywhere was dusted with snow. Snow has an effect onme - it stills me, warms me, again shuts me up. I like being silenced. My brain welcomes the shoxi (break).
Funny story: I was planning on buying this wonderful handmade boiled wool coat with decorative trim. In China, bartering is required,expected and actually quite fun. The tailor started at a price that was way more than what I had. We proceed to ping pong back numbers (in Chinese of course, last time I'll say that). When I was getting flabbergasted that he was so rigid and wasn't playing the game I said,"Wo shi laoshi, mei you qian!" (I'm a teacher, I have no money!). That stopped him. He said he will give me my price because I am a teacher and in a profession that is highly respected. He kept saying "FeichangHao" (excellent). No I am back, feeling rejuvenated and ready for another week of classes, which are going well, Chinese language tutor sessions and time to find ways to shut my brain up myself. Check out photos at picasaweb.google.com/macdirty
Nothing but love to you, Katie
We got to see the main meditation hall which can fit 800 at a time. The place is amazing, as you would expect, but the feelings of sublime internal silence I was not prepared for. Like Telluride, Camp Agape, the yoga retreat I did in Nederland, Varanasi, and other places that shut me up, this one did the trick. I was feeling a little agoraphobic back at my campus - thinking that China was so big and so imposing and so insurmountable. One weekend and two buses exorcised that phobia for me. It was cold as you would expect, but the thing that killed me was that we didn't get as many stares as we usually do in Lanzhou. It was liberating, not to have so many eyes on your every movement. You relaxed in your own space.
We also went across the bridge and hiked along a dirt road, past yaks and sheep grazing, past yurts with their stoves heating up dinner. It had been ages since I roamed. And that is what we did; just walked around, sat down and were just still - nothing to think about, nothing to translate, no eyes on us. The food there was amazing. Tibetan meat dumplings, steamed (momo) and fried (paale), yak milk tea, yak butter, yak burgers - all so very very good and satisfying and belly warming. We left early in the morning to grab our bus back and as the overcastsky brightened, everywhere was dusted with snow. Snow has an effect onme - it stills me, warms me, again shuts me up. I like being silenced. My brain welcomes the shoxi (break).
Funny story: I was planning on buying this wonderful handmade boiled wool coat with decorative trim. In China, bartering is required,expected and actually quite fun. The tailor started at a price that was way more than what I had. We proceed to ping pong back numbers (in Chinese of course, last time I'll say that). When I was getting flabbergasted that he was so rigid and wasn't playing the game I said,"Wo shi laoshi, mei you qian!" (I'm a teacher, I have no money!). That stopped him. He said he will give me my price because I am a teacher and in a profession that is highly respected. He kept saying "FeichangHao" (excellent). No I am back, feeling rejuvenated and ready for another week of classes, which are going well, Chinese language tutor sessions and time to find ways to shut my brain up myself. Check out photos at picasaweb.google.com/macdirty
Nothing but love to you, Katie
Friday, September 21, 2007
My Apartment!!
My place is adorable. Red hardwood floors, airy, big and comfy. I have a study that I have made into a winter storage / yoga room. I have great views of the mountains and am not 8 minutes away from where I teach. Woo hoo!
First Week of Teaching!
The first week is over and I am happy. Happy to be back in the classroom, happy to learn new names and faces, happy to learn how to teach in a completely different environment. I teach 4 classes (2 hours each) of Oral English to sophomores. Each class has about 24-26 friendly and eager faces. The main objective for this class is to improve their speaking, so it's mostly a confidence course; giving them opportunities to speak, learn new vocabulary and new things about Western and American culture and conversational dynamics. So far this class is a lot of fun - they are willing to try new things, stand up in front of each other and open their mouths. Here is where my energy is an asset.
Right now I also have 2 classes (2 hours each) of Junior English Writing - each class has about 50 students, but we are working on splitting them up to four classes of 25 students each, in order for everyone to get more attention. Their writing is incredibly sophisticated and their interest in poetry and literature is contagious. They want to be able to use their English with a Western perspective. We will be discussing active versus indirect writing.
As for the campus, we have freshmen, sophomores and juniors - seniors live and go to the main campus in Lanzhou. There are soccer, basketball, badminton, ping pong fields and courts and a new indoor swimming pool that hasn't opened yet. Weekly they show movies - last week was Harry Potter and Mr. Bean and Blood Brothers. Outside the campus there are three streets full of restaurants, internet cafes, KTV (karaoke), photo shops, stationary kiosks, eyewear stores and sports clothing stores. In the evening the fruit sellers come out with their grapes, pears and apples.
Weather here is gorgeous - mid 40s in the morning and the evening and bright sunshine 70s in the day. It takes less than 10 minutes to get to class and the streets are filled with students and not cars or bikes - not many horns blowing, brakes squeaking - very quiet.
We also have office hours in the Volunteer's Office - which is also an English library that students can check out books, magazines, DVDs. I just had my first office hours last night. Basically its students coming in and practicing their asking questions - how old are you? What do you think of Chinese food? Have you watched Prison Break (that show is HUGE here)? Many students are getting comfortable with me so they're asking more questions. We were given many food lists in hanzi, pinyin and english. I have them go through them and check off the ones that they recommend. They also give me walking tours of the town and campus - best restaurants, copy places, etc.
Life here is good. It's still new and I'm still trying to find my groove. I lesson plan most of the time, sometimes to the determent of my sleep or leisure time, but that's understandable.
I was flirting with loneliness but it hightailed out of my sight when I received care packages from some righteous people back in the States. Thank you, ad nauseum. It sustains my energy, my resolve, my contentment quota.
More later. Time to plan.
Right now I also have 2 classes (2 hours each) of Junior English Writing - each class has about 50 students, but we are working on splitting them up to four classes of 25 students each, in order for everyone to get more attention. Their writing is incredibly sophisticated and their interest in poetry and literature is contagious. They want to be able to use their English with a Western perspective. We will be discussing active versus indirect writing.
As for the campus, we have freshmen, sophomores and juniors - seniors live and go to the main campus in Lanzhou. There are soccer, basketball, badminton, ping pong fields and courts and a new indoor swimming pool that hasn't opened yet. Weekly they show movies - last week was Harry Potter and Mr. Bean and Blood Brothers. Outside the campus there are three streets full of restaurants, internet cafes, KTV (karaoke), photo shops, stationary kiosks, eyewear stores and sports clothing stores. In the evening the fruit sellers come out with their grapes, pears and apples.
Weather here is gorgeous - mid 40s in the morning and the evening and bright sunshine 70s in the day. It takes less than 10 minutes to get to class and the streets are filled with students and not cars or bikes - not many horns blowing, brakes squeaking - very quiet.
We also have office hours in the Volunteer's Office - which is also an English library that students can check out books, magazines, DVDs. I just had my first office hours last night. Basically its students coming in and practicing their asking questions - how old are you? What do you think of Chinese food? Have you watched Prison Break (that show is HUGE here)? Many students are getting comfortable with me so they're asking more questions. We were given many food lists in hanzi, pinyin and english. I have them go through them and check off the ones that they recommend. They also give me walking tours of the town and campus - best restaurants, copy places, etc.
Life here is good. It's still new and I'm still trying to find my groove. I lesson plan most of the time, sometimes to the determent of my sleep or leisure time, but that's understandable.
I was flirting with loneliness but it hightailed out of my sight when I received care packages from some righteous people back in the States. Thank you, ad nauseum. It sustains my energy, my resolve, my contentment quota.
More later. Time to plan.
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