staging

now in san fran for the staging. 64 people are coming with me to china!!! quite a diverse crowd - though we will all be educators when we get there.

four hours today and 8 hours tomorrow of reflections, discussions and getting to know yous.

it feels so good. honestly. two days before i left i felt the fear and the anxiety about crossing that bridge to this, but because of the extra day at home, that gap became the width of dental floss. i was ready and i wasn 't sad or anxious - it was time to go.

it's gorgeous here everything feels so and essential to me.

as i was reading the peace corps mission i realized this has been my life - sustainable development.

youth group - work is love made visible

teaching - teach students to be advocates for their own education

AVID - advancement via individual determination

everything that has made a difference in my life is working on sustainable development - giving interested people the skills to do what they need to do themselves. teaching people/students how to fish.

i don't know much, but i do know how to kick ass and motivate people.

when i became a teacher i felt a certainty that was overwhelming - a costco sized inhaler for my soul. it hurts - a soccer cleat punctuating my life purpose.

i'm crying realizing how much this is who i am)

i miss my family, my life in denver, my students...

but from my cold dead hand will you take this opportunity from me.

dammit....

pics

here are some of my favorite pics from the d40. hoo la la!!!

brooklyn and then some.....

i left denver weeping. got together with a few people at the bull n bush (my favorite place) and did some shots and said our sayonaras.

now i'm in brooklyn with my 2 lovely nephews and having a ball. every time i come here i need at least one day to go into the city and explore and walk around. got a slice and then a cupcake at magnolias (yummiedum). i also got 6th row tickets to musical version of The Color Purple - one of my favorite books. unbelievable.

i also, after many days of research i bought a dSLR - Nikon D40. i am in gaga land. this camera is amazing. soon i will post the pics but man, this is fun again. i remember working for your photo doing the lighting and developing. ron would give me photo assignments - the flea market at the drive-in or castor beans. i have a lot of good memories from my twenties taking pictures - studio and outdoors and sequestering myself in the darkroom gleefully watching them come to life. this is the perfect camera to come with me to china. by the way, I'M GOING TO CHINA!!!

it hits me, rather floors me. i'm not scared at all. like staving off christmas - waiting until the absolute last minute to open your gifts because the baited breath part is the best. i read or research enough to keep the anticipation high. i want to be open to all surprises, all discoveries. i never want to feel that "oh yeah, i read about that".

the hardest part is feeling adrift - especially from my loved ones in denver. it's surreal to talk to them on the phone. and now here. niko will be huge and ezio will be walking when i see them again. i'm snorting them right now. getting as much love from them as possible. so much so that i feel dizzy. overdosing on the niko and ezioness.

being titi mumu rocks me like i never knew it could.