Thursday, August 7, 2014

Cartwheel Audit

So far....

159 cartwheels documented in 22 states, 10 countries and 2 continents

I have been wanting to do this for some time. My memory is pretty bad ass, but, just in case, I wanted to create a list of all the cartwheels I have done. It took quite a while to compile.

AL  CA   CO  GA  HI    IL  LA  MD  MI  MN  MO
MS  NC  NE  NM  NY  OH  PA  SD  TN  TX  VA        


This started as a way to get express my glee. Now it's turning into a lifestyle. I'm pretty happy about the transformation. I like to think about future cartwheels, future sites and future photograph compositions.

The place where I stumble is the "so what?". Does it need a larger audience besides myself and loved ones? What does it mean to have a cartwheel lifestyle? I'm enjoying this process, the time to sit and stew.

More to come. There is no perceivable end.

The Pause Before Another Adventure is ALSO an Adventure

Started in May....Finished in August

A stream of consciousness adventure!

...sigh...trying to breathe here.

I am feeling encased in a wrap of anticipation and anxiety. If it gets tighter, it'll turn into self-pity and shame.

Sitting and Waiting:

1) for the puppy to get out of her a**hole phase and calm down
2) for my heart to stop racing
3) for the supposed magic dogs have to melt the heart of my pooch-phobic love
4) for the money to grow in investments so I won't have to eat cat food during retirement
5) for the muses to feel safe enough to give me a post-it of inspiration

I have so keenly aware this year of just how my body processes emotions. Historically, I have mad hoarding skills - I like to keep my emotions, all of them. I wear them like hair colors - it takes them awhile to rinse out.

I've had recurring bouts of vertigo - benign positional vertigo - meaning if you move your eyes or your head a certain way, you could have a ride on a fast merry-go-round! That has helped me feel rootless. Being in a one-year position helps with this feeling - at least I'm consistent. With the vertigo and the rootlessness feeling, other feelings like being waaay too vulnerable, not good enough.

Right now I'm feeling lots of shame for letting my frustrations run me. In the moment, the frustration becomes so large, it's hard to find the edges of it to reign it in.

That frustration becomes even bigger when I think about the little time I allow myself to exercise, dance and do my own thing. Instead I do laundry, grade papers, empty dishwashers, answer emails, lesson plan - anything EXCEPT the things I want to do. Even just sitting here and typing this.very.word feels like a revolutionary act! When was the last time I sat and wrote? Honestly!

With shame - there is always something wrong with me:
physical: I am not the shape I would like to be in
professional: I'm not the teacher I would like to be, do I have other skills?
personal: I have no follow through, no self-discipline, writing is sub-par
emotional: I can be so mean to myself
nutritional: I eat too much, drink too much
financial: I have too much debt and not enough money coming in

I know this feeling is universal. We all have experienced shame. I know that shame is not only ridiculous, it's also isolating. There will never be a ribbon to pin on your lapel for shame awareness, no 5Ks to run for its eradication. There should be. When you say them out loud, they lose their hold on you.

I'm done. This moment has passed. When you categorize your shames and list them, it's easier to eliminate them. I'm looking over them now and thinking to myself, Silly rabbit, you're fine. You're going to be okay.

I'm all over the place. It's been a long time since I have let my mind go sans leash. The past year I have been on a choke chain tethered to a parking sign. Waiting.

I'm not happy. I remember happy. Happy is not here with me.  I'm content. Patting myself on the back for taking a moment to just sit and write. And have a drink. Coffeehouse writing has always been therapeutic.

Thanks, cafe!

Lists of to-dos are populating the back of my brain. Time to move on.

Travels with Twig

Five months ago, my love and I rescued a dog named Twig, a rhodesian ridgeback/hound mix that was advertised as two years old but is actually barely a year old. It's been a long learning curve. My love has never owned a dog before and Twig is learning her new owners as well as how to be a dog.

I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I decided that Twig and I were going to drive to OH. We took our time getting to our destination, checking out roadside attractions throughout the midwest.

She and I got into a groove. We worked really well together. She and I were able to load up her crate, bedding, my backpack, purse and her toys while Twig was clipped to my belt. All in one trip we were able to check-in and check-out.

Twig proved to be a spectacular car dog - obedient, chill, flexible, happy. This was definitely a time when I really fell in love with her. She is definitely now my dog.

BTW - check out - excellent resource to find accommodations and parks that are dog-friendly around the country

Some of the best places:
Raccoon River Dog Park - West Des Moines, IA
Blue Springs, MO - fabulous park, lake and dog park
Montrose Dog Beach, Chicago - right on Lake Michigan - complete with a lifeguard!!
Goodland, KS - largest easel and painting in the US
Winterset, IA - famous covered bridges of Madison County AND birthplace of John Wayne
Pink Elephant Antiques, Livingston, IL - huge statues of spaceships, giant men AND elephants!
Kaskaskia, IL - large fire breathing dragon
St Louis, MO - some beautiful architecture
Topeka, KS - Brown v Board of Education National Monument

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Thursday, April 22, 2010

happy earth day!

The tribe in Ohio really came through for me. I finally made it here to my other home, the mile high city, and am needing my denver family to help me with the following items.


You are helping the environment AND helping Katie. Two birds, one planet. Kum ba ya!

Step stool
Waste baskets
Rolling pins
Flower pots
Bath mats
Microwave oven
Toaster oven
Area rugs
zester and ladles

Saturday, April 17, 2010

getting closer

the response has been wonderful. the list is dwindling.

delaware and ohio people: drop stuff off at the Schnaars or call me and I will pick up.

colorado people - let me know what you have and when i arrive, i'll pick up from you.

Step stool
Waste baskets
Rolling pin
Flower pots
Bath mats
Microwave oven
Toaster oven
Area rugs
zester and ladles

the farewell cookout last night was fantastic. it was so lovely to have so many people i love to congregate and to enjoy each other.

all of my crap is out of the attic and ready for staging. woo hoo!!!

Monday, April 12, 2010

a virtual shower UPDATE

A Virtual Shower - UPDATE
Thank you to those that are starting to send me stuff. Below is an updated list of needs:

Candles Blankets Salad plates Knives Step stool
Christmas lights Mugs Waste baskets Hooks
Rolling pin Blender Flower pots Mortar/pestle
Bath mats Broom Microwave oven Toaster oven Juicer
Area rugs Mop Cookbooks tupperware Bookcase

Remember, this is a virtual shower with a deadline of April 19th. You can do either of the following:
1) Leave your items at the Schnaars house in Delaware

2) Call Katie and she’ll pick up the items!

Make sure you forward this message to others that might be able to help.

Thanks and enjoy the spring!